On March 23, 1999, prosecutors in Stockton, California charged Loren Joseph Herzog -- one of the men accused of kidnapping and killing 25-year-old Cyndi Vanderheiden -- with four additional counts of murder, bringing possible closure to a string of unsolved killings dating back to 1984.
Vanderheiden, a Clements resident, disappeared from in front of her family's home November, 1998. Both Herzog and childhood buddy Wesley Howard Shermantine, both 33, have been charged with her murder. Combined both men are accused of six unsolved murders. They are both charged with the robbery-murder of drifters Howard King, 35, and Paul Raymond Cavanaugh, 31, whose bodies were found shot to death in a car off a remote road on Roberts Island on Nov. 27, 1984. Tracks at the scene matched the tires on Shermantine's pickup truck.
Herzog is accused of the murder of Henry Howell, 41, of Santa Clara, who was shot dead on Highway 88 near Hope Valley in September 1984; and the September 1985 murder of Robin Armtrout, 24, whose nude body was found stabbed nearly a dozen times on the east bank of Potter Creek near Linden. Shermantine has been charged individually in the deaths of 16-year-old Chevelle "Chevy" Wheeler, who disappeared in 1985 while skipping school at Franklin High School and whose remains are still missing. Shermantine was suspected in Wheeler's death for a decade, but was not arrested until 1999 when DNA tests revealed blood found in his home was hers.
On November 22, 2000, the trial of Wes Shermantine began in Santa Clara with the prosecutor painting a picture of a ruthless predator on a fifteen-year long rampage. The trial was moved to Santa Clara because of the tremendous publicity about the case in the San Joaquin Valley. Shermantine, 34, is charged with killing three people in the 1980s and a woman in 1998, though only two of the bodies have been found. Prosecutors told the jury that they believe Shermantine may have killed as many as 20 more people, disposing of their bodies in mine shafts, remote hill sides and buried underneath a trailer park. "There are no fingerprints, no eyewitnesses, no smoking gun," prosecutor Thomas Testa said in opening statements. "It's all in the details."
Testa said that over the years Shermantine told relatives and acquaintances he had "made people disappear" around the outskirts of Stockton. In a confrontation with one woman in a trailer park, Shermantine allegedly told her: "Listen to the heartbeats of people I've buried here. Listen to the heartbeats of families I've buried here."
Not the nicest man on the planet, several witnesses testified that they had been brutalized by Shermantine. Five women testified he had violently raped or sodomized them, including a baby sitter who said she had been attacked when she stopped by to collect money he owed her. A woman said he had rear-ended her car, then kidnapped her at knifepoint when she pulled off the road to exchange insurance information. She jumped from his car while it was moving and managed to get away. His estranged wife described how he had brutally beaten her for years, hitting her while she was pregnant or holding her children in her lap.
According to Testa, Shermantine once told Herzog he had killed 22 people in California, Utah and Nevada. The typical speed-freak thrill killers, Shermantine and Herzog allegedly killed for sport: "Wes told several individuals that he had hunted the ultimate kill -- humans."
Teenager Chevy Wheeler disappeared after playing hooky from school and driving into the mountains with Shermantine. Though Shermantine was suspected for years of killing the teen-ager, he was not arrested until 1999, after DNA tests determined that drops of blood found in his remote cabin in the mountains were almost certainly from the girl. The prosecutor said Vanderheiden disappeared after being seen with a methamphetamine-fueled Shermantine and Herzog at a bar. Vanderheiden's blood was found on a head rest and in the trunk of Shermantine's car, Testa said. Both women are believed to have been lured away to their deaths with the promise of drugs.
In court both men have insisted it was the other one who did all the killings. Shermantine insists
Herzog is solely to blame for the killing and has hinted he knows
where the bodies of Vanderheiden and other victims may have
been stashed. Herzog's attorney characterizes Shermantine's
version of events as a desperate ploy to deflect blame.
During more than 17 hours of questioning by San Joaquin
County sheriff's detectives, Herzog implicated Shermantine
in five unsolved Northern California killings, as well
as the shooting death of a hunter in Utah in 1994.
Herzog told authorities he had only watched as Shermantine
committed each of the murders. Under California law,
prosecutors were able to charge Herzog with murder in
connection with the mid-1980s killings based on his own
admissions, court officials said. Without more evidence,
however, the San Joaquin County District Attorney's Office
has so far been unable to charge Shermantine with any
On videotape, Herzog said Shermantine had bragged over the
years of committing as many as 24 murders. Herzog told
detectives that Shermantine either pulled the trigger or
wielded the knife in every murder the pair are charged with.
On Roberts Island, Herzog and Shermantine were riding
together in a truck when they passed a parked 1982 Pontiac,
Herzog told detectives. The friends turned around, pulled
shotguns from their truck and approached the car.
Shermantine fired first at the driver, killing Howard
Michael King, 35, as he sat in the car, Herzog said.
Shermantine then dragged Paul Raymond Cavanaugh, 31, from
the passenger door and shot him at point-blank range before
cutting open his pockets with a knife, Herzog said.
Two months before, Shermantine and Herzog were in a truck on
Highway 88 near Hope Valley when they passed Henry Howell, a
41-year-old Santa Clara resident who was drunk and parked
along the side of the road. Shermantine stopped, got out of
the truck and shot Howell with a shotgun, Herzog said. In
September 1985, the men picked up 24-year-old Robin Armtrout
at a park near Del Mar Avenue in Stockton, Herzog said.
Intending to go drinking together, the three ended up in a
country pasture just east of Shermantine and Herzog's homes
in Linden. Shermantine "got carried away," Herzog told
detectives, beating, raping and eventually stabbing Armtrout
more than a dozen times before leaving her naked on the bank
of Potter Creek.
On the videotaped interview, Herzog said Shermantine bragged
of doing the same thing to Chevelle Wheeler. Shermantine was
investigated but never charged after Wheeler was reported
missing in 1985, authorities said. Samples of blood matching
Wheeler's blood type were found at the time in a San Andreas
hunting cabin belonging to Shermantine's family. Recent
developments in DNA technology allowed investigators to
prove the blood came from Wheeler.
Shermantine said that Herzog had a key to the family cabin
and was good friends with Wheeler. According to Wheeler's
parents, however, Shermantine called the family's home the
day Chevy disappeared to confirm that the girl still planned
to go with him on a mountain excursion.
About the Vanderheiden case, Herzog said he and Shermantine met the
woman in a cemetery near her Clements home after the three
left a bar after midnight. While driving back to Linden,
Shermantine pulled a knife and ordered Vanderheiden to
perform oral sex, Herzog told detectives. Shermantine then
stopped the car near Waverly Road, raped Vanderheiden and
slashed her throat, Herzog said. Detectives found
Vanderheiden's blood in the back of Shermantine's car after
it was repossessed January 22.
Herzog also implicated Shermantine in the 1994 shooting of a
hunter in northern Utah. Shermantine allegedly shot a hunter
while he and Herzog were on vacation, authorities said.
Local officials in Utah confirmed they are investigating the
unsolved murder of a hunter from 1994.
FBI officials seized almost $40,000 worth of guns from the
San Andreas home of Shermantine's parents. The San
Joaquin County Sheriff's Office plans to call in a small
army of evidence technicians to thoroughly examine the guns
in an attempt to link them to weapons evidence from unsolved
crimes, including the 1994 murder of a woman in Tuolumne
County whose dismembered body was found in a burned-out
On March 5, 2001, Shermantine said that if his two young sons recieve $20,000 in reward money, he'll reveal the location of the bodies of four victims, two for which he was convicted, and two more. Authorites have offered to drop the death penalty for two bodies, but Shermantine asked for cash instead. The victims' families, who very much want Shermantine sentenced to death, said they were willing to consider the death penalty deal but were against paying for the bodies. They'd also like to help other families locate their missing loved ones. Shermantine, they said, has offered to reveal the locations of several bodies he hasn't been charged with killing.
Christina Herzog writes from Linden, California:
From: "Christina Herzog"
Subject: The Speed Freak Killers?
Date: Wed, Feb 28, 2001, 10:42 PM
I am married to Loren Herzog, and really do think you have some nerve putting him on your web site, since he hasn't even gone to trial yet. I'll be speaking with our lawyer about this. You should think about how it affects the lives of the family members of the accused.
Kimberly, the sister Cyndi Vanderhieden, wrote:
From: " Cyndi Search HQ"
Subject: Thanks for the great site on Wes and Loren
Date: Fri, Mar 2, 2001, 8:28 AM
Mayhem and readers,
I stumbled onto your site. My sister Cyndi Vanderhieden was kidnapped, tortured, raped, and begged for her life before the two men took her life. The final moment of her life her throat was slit and one of them whispered in her ear to let it go naturally. I thank you for posting these evil "Speed Freek Killers" on your site. We have one down one to go. With Loren's statement on video which myself, my family and few friends watched. If i was Loren i would be freaking out right now. Does he trully believe a jury will find him not guilty? Hell no. Fifteen years of being at numerous murders but did not do the deed? Okay im blonde but not stupid and neither will be a jury. If Wes Comes forward with the bodies plus the two that neither is charged with and continues to say Loren did it not him, well, gee, it looks like Loren too will be facing death. I read Mrs. Herzog's email she sent to you. Is it she is so deep she can't see the light? Or is she is in so much fear for her own life she protects and continues to stand by her man?
Kimberly & Pamela
In reaction to Mrs. Herzog's email a reader of the Archives wrote:
Subject: Christina Herzog
Date: Fri, Mar 2, 2001, 10:10 AM
Someone needs to let Christina Herzog know.......
It is Wes and Loren who should have thought about their families and the
families and friends of the victims before going out on their murder spree.
You are just as much to blame because I'm sure you were aware of it all.
Responding to my request for permission to post their message, the Cyndi Search HQ wrote:
From: " Cyndi Search HQ Pamela"
Subject: We the victims give permission to use anything off our site
Date: Fri, Mar 2, 2001, 10:53 AM
Thank you for the email. You may post anything you like off of any
Of Cyndis sites or emails. Pamela, is a friend of the Vanderheiden Family and best friends of Cyndis sister Kimberly. Kimberly is Cyndi's only sister there is no other sibling. Just wanted to let you know, we are the two who headed out the Search for Cyndi and started a resource center for Missing Adults in N. California. Feel free to contact us we have loads of info on the pair. I agree with your email i think Loren will face a long time in prison or death, How dare Christina (Sugar) Herzog think of herself and her family and not us, we are the ones left searching countless hours and miles of country side for our loved one, WHERE IS CYNDI IS THE QUESTION? WE WONT give them our reward fund PERIOD!!!
below are all of Cyndi's sites. the msn one is updated daily. Feel free
to take what you want and once again thank you so very much for
your support. We the victims friends and family will not give up
'till the girls are brought home. Cyndi Search HQ will continue to
help others who are faced with Missing Adults.
Kimberly and Pamela
Cyndi Search HQ - Help us Find Cyndi Vanderheiden.
A co-worker of Cyndi's wrote:
Subject: Christina Herzog
Date: Sun, Mar 11, 2001, 10:36 PM
As a friend and co worker of Cyndi's I find That you Christina Herzog are out of line, look what your so called husband did, if he didn't do the things he is accused of then why is he sitting there? He made a statement, how does it feel to sleep next to someone who has raped/sodimized/ and basically hurt other women? I know that there is a little compassion in you, or at least I hope there is, What about the victims families? they have lost a daughter, sister, aunt cousin, and what about me, I lost a friend and co worker so what the hell is up with that. I wouldn't wish this nightmare on anyone Christina, not even you. How could you be angry at the family of the victim for speaking out? Like everyone, I have to speak my mind and let me tell you right now I don't think so kindly of you. do you have a daughter Mrs. Herzog? I do and I know with every fiber of my being that if someone were to harm her in any way shape or form there would be hell to pay, so maybe you should think about the victim and her family who will never , never be able to go back to the way of life before Cyndi's MURDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so think about that.
And for Kim and Pam I admire you both for what you have done to try and bring Cyndi and Chevy home. I think there are alot of people out there who is behind you in this matter and alot of us are here in galt.
Christina responds to the emails from Kimberly and others:
From: "Christina Herzog"
Subject: Accused's Family / Victim's Family
Date: Mon, Mar 12, 2001, 12:51 AM
First, let me clear something up. How dare you tell me that I am responsible for someone else's actions. I AM NOT TO BLAME FOR ANY OF THESE CRIMES AND I WAS NOT AWARE OF ANY OF IT. I did NOT take the lives of any of these people, and I do NOT know who did.
Second, in response to Kim's e-mail, I do not fear for my life. Fear is no longer part of my vocabulary, for reasons I am sure most people could never understand. I continue and always will stand by Loren because of reasons I can not explain. (If I have to explain you will never understand) Everyone involved should have thought ahead about the consequenses their actions would cause. I am not worried about this web site effecting myself or Loren, only my children. I have tried / contacted you (kim) more then once hoping to speak with you, reguarding more then one subject. But I now feel because of all the "media and politics" that has become so involved, it is in everyones best interest to let "sleeping dogs lay".
Third, I think of MY children and family first. Regardless of what Loren has / has not done, it is my job to protect my children in any way I have to, from what ever negative / harmful effect this will have on them, NOT me.(I made the choice to marry Loren) They love him and miss him just as much as I am sure you all miss Cyndi. I have thought of Cyndi and Chevy and the other victims many, many, many times. I knew Chevy in the early 1980's. I have also thought of the victim's family's (even you kim) and friends many more times. I will never be able to find the words to express what I feel for all of you. I have searched and searched my brain thinking of where Cyndi and Chevy may be. I honestly wish I knew so I could tell. Those girls deserve to be laid to rest, the right way.
Fourth, if the cops would have really listened to Loren (and one other person) when Chevy disapeared they should have been able to arrest Wes then. Also for the record, Loren and Wes NEVER went hunting together in Utah in 1994 or any other time. Will somebody PLEASE at least get something correct.
Wes' ex-wife Sherrie knew information for years and kept quite. Doesn't that make any sense to any of you about this whole ordeal? And as for Wes revealing the location of the bodies, wake up people. Don't you people feel the same about this as you do about Loren not "weilding the knife"? Wes is far from done, he has just begun to play games. He is pure evil. I don't mean the kind of evil we see here on earth. I mean, that demon is pure DEVIL EVIL.
And last; you, the D.A., the judge, the lawyers, the jury, the reporters, not even me, will ever REALLY know what did / did not happen and who did / did not kill these people. The ONLY one who will ever know is GOD. And whatever does / does not happen to Loren and Wes, and the rest of us, it is God's decision. And that is the only decision that counts.
Christina Herzog (Sugar),
WIFE and BEST friend of Loren Herzog.
Kim's update on the Herzog trial:
From: "cyndi" firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Herzog Trial
Date: Mon, Mar 12, 2001, 10:34 PM
Trial number 2 to begin July 30th 2001! Herzog and counsel say that is not
enough time to prepare for the case!!! According to an outrage very red
faced Peter Fox who voiced his opinion loudly to the judge. Excuse me, but
it has been almost 2.5 years. Wake up!!! Cyndi's family isn't going away!!!
We got one death verdict, give it up Herzog. Your next. What more do you
want you have had two plus years plan your defense and save your ass!!! Did
Cyndi get time to prepare her death!! One more thing. Loren it is time to
start talking again, come clean, Tell us were Cyndi is. Since you were to
spun out to get help or stop than you should have nothing to fear, RIGHT!!!
Unless no, you couldn't of, could you!! I'm thinking maybe. I got it now. I
know why you won't tell us. Because you were involved in the killing,
probably got a little too!! therefore you would leave evidence on Cyndi. Oh
yeah then since you were once family friend you'd have to look both my dad
and MYSELF in the face , and well face you crossed a line. but this time
didn't get wired!!! Am I right? Yeah I am!! Gee wish there was something
I could do to help, oops sorry just don't have it in me!!! Sorry about your
luck. You got Time Get Smart Tell us were she is!!!!
Thanks Just needed to vent a little.
Cyndi's Big Sis, & Loren's new worse nightmare
The best way to predict the future, is to create it!!!
So please start your future by visiting my sisters Cyndi Vanderheiden's Web
Page @ http://www.lodinet.com/cyndi
Founder of Cyndi Search HQ Searching For Missing Adults Dedicated to my Baby Sister Cyndi!!
A reader of the Archives who wishes to remain anonymous believes Christina should do the right thing.
Subject: christina herzog
Date: Tue, Mar 13, 2001, 2:50 PM
Excuse me if I don't bring out the violin Christina!!!!! I will agree with you on one thing and only one thing and that is that your children should come first and foremost and I will be perfectly honest when I tell you that I don't believe you when you say you don't know anything about what your man was up to. I have been with my husband for years and I know when he is up to something and if my man was doing what yours did he would have been turned in by me personally on the reasons that MY CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS COME FIRST.
Oh but wait I do agree on one other thing you said: Yes it was your decision to marry that bastard and now you have to lay in the bed you made with him and think, long and hard of all the victims families, what they are going through, what the siblings, and friends are going through, and will continue going through until they are with their loved ones again. I pity you for not being a woman.
Let me clarify what I mean. A real woman wouldn't let her husband do the things he is accused of and as I see it your are just as GUILTY as both your man and Wes. You will not get sympathy from me or the families, and alot of others who are reading this will agree. Com On be a woman tell the twins what you know, don't let your children go to school and be teased by the other children about their fathers sin against god, you and them!!!!
You know that you know something. What can he do to you now girl? He is sitting where he belongs and one day he'll be in hell with all the other unimaginable monsters of the world. I really pity you. See what standing by your man gets you. Do what you want but remember one down, and one to go. He'll be found GUILTY without any doubt, com on talk to him tell him to say where Cyndi is, do the right thing!!!!!!!!!!
Starla, a friend of Sugar's, thinks we should all give her a break:
Subject: Re: Christina (Sugar) Herzog
Date: Sat, May 12, 2001, 11:59 PM
Sugar and I have known eachother all of our lives, we were actually out together the night that her and Loren met. I don't know what I beleive about Loren, but I do know Sugar, and I beleive that she never knew what Loren did or did not do away from his home. Several times a month Loren would be gone, and Sugar never knew where he was, so call her stupid, or any of the other bad things that you guys are saying about her here, but she's not, she was just a wife and a mother trying to survive. I know this, I was with her during her first pregnancy, Loren would be out partying, So maybe some wife's know where their husbands are, or have been, (DO YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHERE YOUR HUSBAND IS............ AT ALL TIMES) but she never did, besides that, how could she, she was always at home taking care of the kids. Loren never would tell her where he had been etc. so stand by her man? Some do, but don't knock her for it. I haven't been around Sugar in years, but I know her better than most. So before you go off your rocker and put her down, get more facts about the person that you are degrating. I feel really bad for the victims families, and I'm sure Sugar does too, besides, we both grew up with Chevy... So, in ending this, I have my own feelings about Wes, and Loren, but I would never put down either one of the wife's for their husbands mistakes.... Give her Break!
Sugar's thank you note to Starla:
From: "Christina Herzog"
Subject: My friend Starla
Date: Thu, 31 May 2001 09:07:41 -0700
I would like to tell Starla Thank You for still being one of my best friends.
When I read your e-mail to Mayhem it brought tears to my eye's. Your feelings towards Loren, good or bad, will NEVER change
our friendship. Please don't ever forget that.
Love always your friend,
Christina Herzog (Sugar)
What an anonymous contributor thinks of Starla:
Subject: to christina (sugar) herzog's friend
Date: Thu, 31 May 2001 11:29:05 -0700
OK NOW I HAVE HEARD IT ALL, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION' YES I KNOW WHERE MY HUSBAND IS AT ALL TIMES, WE CONFIDE IN EACHOTHER,
WE KNOW WHAT THE OTHER IS THINKING AND WE HAVE A BOND, I FEEL SORRY FOR CHRISTINA NOT ANYTHING ELSE, YES SHE CONTINUES TO
STAND UP FOR HER HUSBAND BUT DOES SHE REALLY KNOW HIM? I CANNOT ANSWER THAT AS I DO NOT KNOW HER BUT I CAN AND WILL TELL
YOU THIS, JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW HER DOESNT MEAN THAT SHE DONT KNOW WHAT HE DID DO, DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT HIS BONEYARD?
DOSE SHE KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY MURDERS HE REALLY COMMITTED? OR DOES SHE REALLY CARE? ANSWER IS NO......HOW CAN SHE
STAND BY HER MAN IF SHE DOESNT TELL HIM " COME ON BABY.... TELL WHERE THE BONE YARD IS....SAY WHERE WES PUT THE BODIES OF THE
STILL MISSING WOMEN....TELL WHAT YOU KNOW.....PLEA BARGIN...." I AGREE THAT HE WILL GO DOWN TO HELL WITH THE OTHERS....BUT AT
LEAST CHRISTINA AND OTHERS WHO LOVE THIS BASTARD WILL KNOW WHERE TO GO TO SPIT ON HIS GRAVE AND I PLAN ON DOING THAT WHEN
THE TIME COMES....THE VICTIMS FAMILIES WAIT...DONT HAVE A PLACE TO GO VISIT...SO MAYBE MS CRISTINA NEEDS TO TELL HER MAN TO
START TALKING THE WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY WILL BE OPEN FOR A LITTLE WHILE, WHEN IT IS SHUT HE IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE DESERVES
THAT ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER SERIAL KILLERS BEFOR HIM AND AFTER HIM.. WHAT IS SHE AFRAID OF.....THE TRUTH?
Christina's response to anonymous:
Date: Sat, 2 Jun 2001 20:58:20 -0700
First of all, you will NEVER know where his grave will / would be.
Second of all, he's MY bastard and if your brave enough to TRY and spit on his grave, try it NOW, I DARE you. I would be real careful of
the words you use, the may come back to haunt you!
Remember that nothing in life is forever.....
So don't take anything for granted.......
Anonymous fires back at Christina:
CHRISTINA, WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? SUCH HOSTILITY! I AM NOT SOMEONE YOU
THINK I AM, I AM NOT KIM OR PAM SO YOU CAN STOP THE THREATS, YOU SEE I
DONT SCARE EASY, SEEMS TO ME I TOUCHED A NERVE. IS IT DUE TO THE FACT
THAT YOU KNOW THAT I AM RIGHT? OR IS IT DO TO THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW
MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU CLAIM? WHO KNOWS, BUT I WILL BE GLAD TO COME
FORWARD AND SPIT ON HIS GRAVE WHEN HE DIES FROM LETHAL INJECTION. BUT I
DO AGREE WITH YOU ON ONE THING, NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED, AND
WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON, WE HAVE CHILDREN WHO WE LOVE, I DO FEEL
SORRY FOR THE POSITION YOU ARE IN AND I TRY REAL HARD NOT TO JUDGE BUT
CYNDI WAS MY FRIEND AND CO WORKER. IF YOUR HUSBAND DIDN'T DO WHAT HE IS
ACCUSED OF WHY IS HE SITTING BEHIND BARS WAITING FOR TRIAL? THINK ABOUT
THAT WHILE YOU ARE TOSSING AROUND THREATS THAT IS HOG WASH.
THINGS THAT ARE OUT OF ANGER AND THAT WAS MY WAY OF VENTING, IF AM
WRONG THEN I AM SORRY, BUT KEEP IN MIND HE IS SITTING BEHIND BARS, HE MADE
A CONFESSION, AND OR STATEMENTS ABOUT CYNDI, IF HE DIDNT DO THE DEED HE
IS JUST AS GUILTY BY NOT DOING ANYTHING TO STOP WES FROM DOING IT,
REMEMBER THE WINDOW IS OPEN FOR A LITTLE WHILE, THEN IT IS SHUT AND NOT
OPEND AGAIN. THINK ABOUT IT CHRISTINA..... AND I AM SORRY, NOT ALL OF US CAN
HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE, WE CANT ALL TRUST OUR HUSBANDS WHERE AS I AM
LUCKY FOR I HAVE SOMEONE WHO IS HONEST AND HARD WORKING, GET LOREN TO
THE RIGHT THING AND TALK, SAY WHERE THEY ARE, HE KNOWS AND YOU KNOW HE
DOES, IT'S A SHAME THAT YOU CANT SEE THINGS FOR THE WAY THEY ARE....MAYBE
ONE DAY YOU WILL AND IT WILL BE WAY TO LATE.
Christina calls anonymous to the mat:
First of all, I don't think your Kim or Pamela. In fact I don't really care who you are. I just think you're
chicken sh*t for not signing your name like everyone else isn't SCARED to do.
Second, I wasn't trying to scare you or anyone else - that's not my thing you ding-bat!
I am sorry for your loss of your friend and co-worker Cyndi , and for the loss it has caused her family
and many other friend's. With all due respect to the people who DESERVE it I wish thing's were different
but the are not and we just have to try our hardest to live through this. And if it means "venting"
sometimes, then have at it. We all deal with thing's different, but don't for one minute think that I won't
ever be here to stand up for my husband. I take being married VERY serious. Maybe the rest of the
world should too.
P.S. OH YEAH - BETTER LATE THEN NEVER...
Remember that nothing in life is forever...
So don't take anything for granted...
R. is wondering why everyone is lashing out at Sugar:
would like to know why everyone is lashing out at Sugar? She's not the one who committed the crimes. Who are we to judge
whether or not she should belief her husband? Who are we to put her down for standing behind him? How does anyone
know how she feels about it? Does anyone care? I understand the frustration the family has (I too knew Chevy). Sugar is not
the person to focus on here. She is not the one on trial. I don't think you should criticize her. You'll never know how you'd
react to this situation if it happened to you. You can say what you want but the fact is unless you walk in the shoes you truly
don't know. Why does it bother everyone that Sugar loves her husband? Even if he's found guilty, that does not make Sugar
a bad person. I haven't spoken to Sugar in many many years and we weren't very good friends but I don't think there is any
reason to be harsh to Sugar. Remember after all God is the final judge! I don't think it's fair that people judge Sugar and say
she knows things. Sugar, I pray for you and your children. I know that one day you will have peace with all this. I wish you
and your children all the best.
Anonymous goes right back at Christina:
Christina, you must have me confused with someone else, it seems to me that you must
think I am Pam or Kim, sorry to disapoint you but I am not either of them, I don't scare easy
and you are the one who needs to watch out, the truth about your husband will come out,
sooner or later and when it does Im sorry but it will hit you like a brick in the face, girl wake
up and smell the coffee, protect your self and your kids, I know that you don't have control of
what he did or will do, but you do have control over what you do and say and what your
children may or may not hear, think about it.
Another anonymous tells Christina what she thinks:
Subject: Christina Herzog
Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2001 00:24:55 -0700 (PDT)
I have just read about the situation you're in. I have
a question: Were you abused by your husband either
physically or mentally? Think about the abuse he is
putting you and your children through right now. You
sound as if you're afraid of him so you kept your
mouth shut about his absences just to keep the peace.
Maybe I'm wrong, who knows. But if you CAN find out
anything about those two precious girls, please for
God's sake try! I'm not trying to run you down. I'm
just trying to understand. I just understand that
there are two sets of victims here. The girls and
their families are the first victims. He made you and
you're children victims when he killed/help kill them.
He should never have put your beautiful children
through this. This is really going to affect them when
they get older. They, like the girl's families, will
have to live with this the rest of their lives. So if
there is ANY way that you can find out anything from
either him or his LOSER friend please try again and
again and again! To the girl's families: Words
Christina's reply to everyone in "Computer Land":
Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2001 19:42:17 -0700
From: "Christina Herzog"
None of you out there in "computer land" have any idea what life is like for myself or my children. Yes,
they and I will have to live with this forever, but I will NOT let this keep them from a "normal happy"
life. Scared of him? No, I've been married to him for 13 years. Besides, I no longer know the
meaning of that word...
Remember that nothing in life is forever.....
So don't take anything for granted.......
Anonymous replies to Christina and identifies herself:
CHRISTINA, TO SET THE STORY STRAIGHT, I HAVE READ WHAT YOU SAID, I HAVE READ WHAT
EVERYONE ELSE HAS SAID, AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ALOT OF WHAT YOU AND OTHERS SAID IS
CORRECT. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE IN YOUR SHOES, I DO FEEL FOR YOUR CHILDREN,
THEY ARE THE MOST INNOCENT IN THIS WHOLE MESS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS ABOUT OUR
LOSS, AT LEAST YOU ARE WILLING TO VIEW IT FROM OUR SHOES, NOW IT IS TIME THAT I VIEW IT FROM
YOUR SHOES, I DO NOT KNOW HOW I WOULD REACT IF MY HUSBAND WAS WHERE LOREN IS, AND
ACCUSED FOR WHAT HE WAS ACCUSED OF, ONE THING FOR SURE I WOULD STAND BEHIND HIM
FOR GOOD OR BAD, BUT THE TYPE OF PERSON I AM WOULD ALSO TURN HIM IN, GET HIM OFF THE
STREETS AND PROTECT OTHER YOUNG GIRLS. THAT IS JUST HOW I AM... NOW FOR MY NAME, IT IS
LAURIE, NOT PAM OR KIM, JUST PLAIN ORDINARY LAURIE... A WIFE, MOTHER, AUNT, FRIEND AND SO
ON... NOW YOU KNOW MY NAME AND I WONT PUT ANNONOMOUS. SO HERE I AM OUT IN THE OPEN.
I DO HAVE TO TELL YOU , YOU HAVE MADE ME SIT BACK AND THINK ABOUT ALOT OF THINGS, AND NO I
DONT TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED, WHY SHOULD I?
I AM A VERY TRUSTING PERSON BUT THE WAY
OUR WHOLE WORLD IS TODAY, ALL THE UNGLINESS OUT SIDE OF YOUR SITUATION ALL THE
KILLINGS EVERYWHERE, THE KIDNAPPINGS, ALL THE VIOLENCE, ONE THING IS FOR SURE THINGS
ARE NOT HOW THEY WERE 30 YEARS AGO. NOR WILL THEY EVER BE AGAIN.
I SHOULD NOT BLAME YOU FOR WHAT HE AND WES HAS DONE, YOU ARE NOT THE BLAME, YOUR
CHILDREN ARE NOT TO BLAME ONLY WES AND LOREN ARE TO BE BLAMED FOR THE AWFUL THINGS
IN WHICH ACCUSED. I DO APOLOGIZE FOR SOME OF WHAT I SAID, VENTING WHEN MAD SOMETIMES
PUTS YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH...I CARE FOR CYNDI, AND HER FAMILY, AS WELL AS THE OTHER
VICTIMES FAMILIES. THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN ASK YOU IS TO TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND, ASK HIM
TO SAY WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID TO FIND THE GIRLS... LET THE FAMILIES BRING THEIR LOVED ONES
HOME TO A PROPER BURIEL, FOR A FINAL GOODBYE, END THE NOT KNOWING AND BEGIN THE
HEALING. THAT IS ALL THAT I WANT, I WANT THE FAMILIES TO BE ABLE TO GO TO A PLACE TO VISIT
THEIR LOVED ONES, AS I WOULD
Pamela, Cyndi's sister, responds to all the posted messages and calls for an end to all the Christina slams:
Subject: Post on Shermantine & Herzog "Speed Freek Killer" Site
Date: Thu, 28 Jun 2001 08:27:51 -0700
Organization: Cyndi Search HQ
I have been so busy with court, searches and some what normal life stuff that I have not had the chance to read what was being posted here.
Now that I have I would like to say a few things.
Christina is NOT to blame, Nor her Children. They too are victims in this whole thing the only difference is they know where each other
is and there hearts are beating. Can we imagine the pain Loren has caused his family? Could we imagine thinking we know our husband
our son and watching and listening to the video? or the prelim evidence for that matter? We don't know the situation they are emotionally
dealing with. Yes my heart goes out to them specially the children, Christina as well as his parents and everyone devastated by his crimes
or accused crimes
In no way does this change the fact of my feelings on what we have to deal with (the loss of a wonderful young woman Cyndi) nor does it
change my recommendation for sentencing but once again the jurors and judge will do that after they hear ALL the evidence. Christina nor
ourselves know what ALL of that is and we all will learn most of it during the trial. I just hope its all over soon and we will find our
Cyndi and the others so the families and friends, communities can put some kind of closure to this whole horrific situation. Closure what
is that, I don't think there will EVER be total closure just the gaping wound will heal just a tad when we do put Cyndi to rest. Closure is
a loosely used word, each person who deals with such a horrific crime feels closure is something different then the next person. Never total
closure, they will forever relive and have nightmares of what there loved one had to endure the final moments, the fear must of been great,
the pain must of been the worst, what were the final thoughts as our Cyndi took her final breath, was she saying Mom Dad I love you I
love you, how could one have closure with such images and torment to the end of ones loved ones life. Could you imagine being a dad
how you would feel, the emptiness, the helplessness of feeling like you should of protected your baby girl and were unaware of what she
was about to endure? I could never could you? Could you imagine being the mother of this young woman? Just waiting to go to lunch,
shopping, the cheerful phone calls the best friend talks, I know I couldn't image there pain could you?
Christina knows better then that she knows myself nor Kim posted those post. I would never do that and she knows that. This is not
about Kimberly, Pamela or Christina, this is about TRUTH, JUSTICE, and the location of the girls remains that's the bottom line
PERIOD. It seems most posters here are from our area of where the crimes happened so my suggestion is STOP slamming with such
anger use that anger towards something more effective like searches, that we could use some help on, go climb a few Mountains in
Calaveras county, check the rivers, go down some 200 mine shafts that can reach 100 FT down, check all caves, ponds, talk with people
to find information out without them knowing what or who you are, drive around thinking of the first trial and what was said to pin point
there safe zone (per-say) dumping ground, bone yard, as they have labeled it. post flyers, go light a candle for the recovery of the girls,
that's what we do and do allot of. Don't contact us just do it. Help other families in your area who are plagued with not knowing, "the
missing" all of them need our help specially the Adult Missing Persons.
Christina this is to you:
I know it seems odd you on one side me on the other and able to put aside our differences, however you are not the one who did the crime
nor watched the crime, Your children are gifts and precious and they will make it threw this stay strong for them. I'm not defending Loren
one bit here and I would never. It still remains the same "unspoken understanding" Keep your head high as you walk, walk proud knowing
the person you are and the people your children can become. Don't let Loren do any more then what has been done. You have lost a life
time, and I'm sure it will impact you forever. You and your children and the rest of the family with the last name will have to live with
the legacy left behind by him, I think that is horrible I think that is enough to put anyone over the edge, I do have faith though and I do
believe you all will make it and out of something horrific I hope something good comes of this ( what? well hell I don't know) I wont say
any more on that you know how I feel and I know how you feel and neither of us will change each others minds or feelings. What matters
is that we all remember who we are as individual persons and don't loose are selves in the process of Truth and Justice. We are all good
people who did not deserve this, to deal with, to try and justify, to search for years for a body, bones. The parents how were they to ever
know the flesh of there flesh the core of there being would do this, is this there fault? Sometimes we can not control what one will do but
we can control what we will do and say. Just remember when this is all done and said that you have done nothing to make this happen
You are not to blame, you were blinded by love which sometimes we all can be. Sometimes its there but in the name of love we think
with our hearts and not our head and our hearts will always lead us in the wrong direction. You head is the thinker it will lead you
correctly. Don't give up hope for hope is all we have to hang on to. Just protect those babies they are the ones who matter.
The girls will come home you all can bank on that, cause as long as our hearts beat and we are able to search we will do so and we will
find them and I hope that is soon, giving up will not occur till they are brought home and whom ever else maybe there. I know where I
belong in this whole matter and that is to be there for a family the "Vanderheiden family" Terri, John, Kimberly they are always in my
heart and never far from my thoughts, there sister, daughter was a friend of mine who's death so horrifically has impacted my life beyond
belief, my life has changed and never to be the same again.
Well that's about it, I hope the focus goes in the other direction where it belongs and not to the victims of this horrific crime spree, we and
they have endured enough pain for the whole state of California hell the USA for that matter. Enough mud slinging is all I wanted to say.
Stay safe and do unto others as you would want done to yourself.
Web Page: http://www.cyndisearch.com
Message Board: http://communities.msn.com/ForTheLoveOfCyndi
Date: Sun, 1 Jul 2001 23:03:44 -0700
AS I HAVE SAT FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS I TOOK A LONG HARD LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND DID NOT LIKE WHAT
I SEEN, PAMELA YOU ARE SO RIGHT, I HAVE SPENT THE PAST FEW MONTHS BEING ANGRY WITH EVERYTHING
THAT WAS HAPPENING AND NOT HAPPENING WITH CYNDI'S CASE AND THE OTHERS THAT I LOST IT, SIDE
TRACKED, NO CHRISTINA IS NOT TO BLAME AND NEITHER ARE HER CHILDREN, I NEVER BELIEVED THAT THE
KIDS WERE TO BLAME, THEY ARE INNOCENT IN EVERYTHING, AND YES LIVING THE LEGACY LEFT BEHIND. I
GUESS YOU COULD SAY I NUTTED UP, I KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING AND COULDN'T STOP IT,
TO CHRISTINA AND HER CHILDREN, I AM SORRY FOR ALLOT OF WHAT I SAID, BY ALL RIGHTS YOU HAVE
REASON TO BE ANGRY WITH ME, I REALLY DON'T BLAME YOU, I DO KNOW IN MY HEART THAT YOU ARE NOT
RESPONSIBLE FOR LOREN'S ACTIONS, AND FOR YOU CHILDREN THEY TOO ARE INNOCENT AND I DO FEEL
FOR YOU AND FOR THEM. I AM SORRY THAT IT TOOK SO LONG TO SAY SORRY, I REALLY AM A NICE PERSON
AND I GUESS A UGLY ONE AT THAT, FOR THE THINGS I SAID. I CANNOT UNDO WHAT I HAVE SAID I CAN ONLY
SAY I AM SORRY AND HOPE THINGS GET EASIER FOR YOU AND FOR YOUR FAMILY, NOT EXCUSING WHAT
LOREN HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF, MY FEELINGS ON THAT WILL STAY THE SAME, BUT I DO KNOW YOU ARE NOT
THE PERSON TO BLAME.
TO MY FRIEND PAM, THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING OUT, AND THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FACE MYSELF AND
THE ANGER I HAVE, YOU REALLY MADE ME THINK, HMMM AND YOU KNOW HOW MY BLOND MOMENTS ARE......
LOL.... NOT THAT I HAVE MANY OF THEM MIND YOU. I WILL FOCUS ON OTHER THINGS AND TRY TO KEEP A
CLEAR MIND, I AM SORRY AS I HAVE SAID, MOSTLY BECAUSE I IN A WAY DIS RESPECTED THE PERSON I
Subject: Christina Herzog
Date: Sun, 5 Aug 2001 05:42:49 -0700
I have read all the comments from the victims families and from the family of the accused. It is
sad that all this had to happen in the first place. Christina is by no means at fault for her husbands
crimes. Serial killers have fooled their families, their friends, and their victims for years. It is how
they are able to get away with murder for so long. Ted Bundy for example was quiet, unassuming,
and even friendly, yet underneath he was a cold blooded killer.
I feel empathy for all that are involved in this situation, for it is difficult to grieve properly if their is
no actual body to grieve. Verbal violence will solve nothing, and only causes more stress for all
concerned. I know there are no easy answers for anyone involved in this situation. I hope that
somehow God will bring all of you some peace.
Sincerely Linda Schrawyer
Subject: Linda Schrawyer
Date: Mon, 13 Aug 2001 19:06:32 -0700
From: "Christina Herzog"
Mayhem & Readers,
First of all, I have no idea who Linda Schrawyer is but I would like to say
"thank you" for the kind words, not only to me but to the "victims" family's
as well. (Alot of people say they understand but really they don't)
Second, I would like to say that I feel very strongly against ANYONE
comparing my husband Loren, to Ted Bundy or anyone else for that matter. You
DON'T know him so DON'T judge him. Loren IS a very good and kind person,
reguardless of any bad choices he made in his "friend". Who out there in the
world has never made bad choices??? You know the old saying; "cast the first
stone, he who has never sinned".
Thank you for your time. May GOD be with you all.
Subject: Christina Herzog
Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2001 11:01:41 -0600
From: "Mercier Family - Edmonton"
I don't know you or the victims in this situation, but I think your husband has made choices for which he is accountable for. I have a young
daughter, and I understand the instinct to protect your children. Maybe I can also understand protecting their relationship with their
father, I know what it is to grow up without a father around. I grew up as an only child, I don't know my Dad very well and my mother
has passed away. I know you're wondering what any of this has to do with you. What I want you to know is this, aside from my
daughter, there is NOBODY I even come close to loving as much as my husband. I can not imagine him as anyone I could walk away
I think as
bitter as this pill is to swallow, your husband is on videotape as a participant or a very dispassionate witness to some very awful deeds.
HIS words, actions, and choices, will affect your children's lives forever. People who have nobody in a cell to visit, nobody in a grave to
mourn, people who have seen this videotaped statement from your husband, are the last people to deserve blame for their feelings
toward him. These people have at the very least, the right to feel however they wish toward him, consider for a moment how you feel
toward a group of people who have not even so much as watched someone rape, torture, and kill your husband. This is a man who in
the very least, chose to hang around a cruel and inhuman killer (repeatedly), and admitted to at least that much on tape. He CHOSE to
run around with this animal over spending time with his WIFE and BEST FRIEND, he CHOSE to do this over spending time with his
Whatever indignities you or your family have suffered have been due to his words, actions and choices. He is responsible,
not people who go so far as to discuss what he has admitted to on videotape. He has a right to remain silent he should have used it.
You need to take a bite of a reality sandwich. NOBODY on this website or any other will ever cause you the heartache your husband
will and (and likely has). While you worry about the friends and family of the victims speaking their minds, you teach your son/s, it is OK
to watch/participate in rape, torture, and murder and you teach your daughter/s, they should stand by someone who repeatedly
watches/participates in rape, torture, and murder.
I think if you ever wake up you will do well to protect your children from him. I think
you would do well to find a man who prefers the company of you and your children to that of a man of PURE EVIL (your words, not
mine). You should really consider how the mothers of the children which have never been found feel about not even being able to give
their babies a final place to rest. How do you think your husband's repeated actions or lack of action makes them feel about the fate of
their children. While you proudly stand by someone who clearly prefers the company of a murderer over yours, think about whose
actions have put your family and those families of all the victims through so very much.
I'm sure you were not aware of what your
husband was doing every minute of every day. You know now, if you truly don't, watch the videotaped statement. I'm sure you would at
least have the compassion to stop whining about the victims families "hurting your children", in light of what your husband openly
admits to "watching". BLAME YOUR HUSBAND THINK OF HOW MANY PARENTS CHILDREN WERE HURT BY YOUR
HUSBANDS "BAD CHOICES".
Subject: J. Mercier
Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2001 18:21:06 -0700
From: "Christina Herzog"
you lady can shut the hell up , AND, kiss my ass! You know nothing of me, or
the person my husband REALLY is. So until then, you should shut your mouth!
PERIOD! Whinning? You must have me confused with somebody else. Not my
Subject: update: Speed Freak Killers
Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2001 07:58:28 -0700
From: "Cyndi Search"
I would like to thank you for keeping the public updated on our fight for Justice and the search for our loved one Cyndi Vanderheiden. It has taken its toll on all involved in the last 3 yrs. yet we don't hear or breath the word give up, Cyndi will come home with or without the help of these Evil Speed Freak Serial Killers.
Justice came as we wanted with Wesley Shermantine who now sits on death row at San Quentin prison awaiting the lethal day of injection, which can't come soon enough for us. Loren Herzog took longer and the System and red tape let some of the victims down, their murders considered unsolved because of the NON Guilty verdict on two of the victims. However we did receive 1st Degree Murder For Cyndi, Paul Cavaunagh and Howard King. Three 1st Degree Murder charges no special circumstances. Robin Armatrout - we know who brutally killed her - yet they have no conviction for her brutal murder, Henry Howell Non Guilty with accessory charge "Question": to whom is he the
assessor of Howell's murder? If Wes Shermantine was not convicted of his murder, how would one come up with that. Odd...
It was a very relieving day yet a very sad day. No one wins in our situation. We will never see our Cyndis bright smile, bouncy out going attitude and jokes :) no hugs no calls no I love yous, her heart no longer beats, she no longer breaths the same air as we do. Loren Herzog does, his heart beats, he breaths the precious air we all breath. His children have lost a father, the children were never asked to be born to such evil. We hope and pray that the evil is not passed on threw the genes of either one of these of these men's offspring's. That is a very scary thought. Loren Herzog will be sentenced on Dec 10th, he will and we will then learn his fate, he faces three 1st degree murder charges which he can receive 25 to life for each, three yrs for the accessory charge. The judge can consider Daggott rd murders (Paul, Howard) as one or two murders either lifes or 25
yrs or 50yrs.
Wesley Shermantine is tentivly scheduled to take the stand the the day of sentencing, this will the first time the Killer friends will be in the same court room in over 2yrs, the first time they will have to look at each other, maybe then we will hear the truth and the location of the remains of the missing that they have murdered. Thank you once again I appreciate everything.
Thank you Thank You Thank You.
Kimberly & Pamela
From: Raven and Bil
Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2002 22:21:27 EST
Subject: housefraus in the speed freak killers corner
I just read the speed freak killers story. And then, I read the polite tea and crumpets conversation afterward...amazing. The housefraus of the world are on two sides and then quarrel and make-up after everyone is dead. It's like Romeo and juliet except the families are fueding over thrill killers. Thank you for the entertainment.
Raven and Bil
p.s. we also like your vocabulary....hehehe
I apologize for my english, i'm french.
i was on this site yesterday for the first time, i was really touch, by your situation. and you are so right i do not know what i would do if the personn i love was accused of such a crime. However, and i speak for myself only, as a human being i would not accept such a act (if He did it).I was wondering what love mean to you. I'm not against you,nor with you, i just want tounderstand.
Also, you were saying that we are not in your shoes, but you are not in the victim family shoes either.
what would you do, if your son(S), sister, friend, was killed like that. what would you think.
I'm praying that you could get peace, and that it will be over soon so you can get yours life back.
Dear victims family,
i understand your suffering, but please don't give anymore hate, it already made victims.
always thinking of you, and be sure that you are in my prayer.
Date: Fri, 24 May 2002 16:48:50 EDT
Subject: Loren Herzog
Did Loren Herzog ever get convicted? I' d like to do more than spit on
fucking grave, I'd like to dig him up and defecate on his dead body.
wife can watch.
Subject: Loren Joseph Herzog & Wesley Howard Shermantine
Date: Sun, 30 Jun 2002 08:29:19 +1000
I don't know what this christine woman is on about.
Anyone who sticks by an evil person such as this must share part of his guilt.
If it was my child he murdered, he would be long dead.
My advise to her... Dump this loser... Get on with your life... marry again... Find a decent man who will look after you and your children as you will never have a normal relationship with this lowlife again.
Date: Mon, 2 Dec 2002 02:29:37 -0800 (PST)
Subject: christina herzog
christina if your hubby was a real man he would've 'hunted' human game that was also armed and firing back... typical run of the mill serial killer picks out weaker victims... why do they always appear so pathetic and impotent against society... tell those two mother fuckers face me... armed... me and my boys can take them out... face men i mean fine killing men but women? and children at that
keep on rockin' in the free world
Subject: Christina Herzog
Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 15:06:25 -0800
C. Herzog: Just because "you don't know the meaning of fear" does not give you the right to protect the manwho obviously only uses you at his convenience- when he needs some thing.He obviously never cared for you or your children.
Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2003 18:38:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Lamia, the silly one."
Subject: Christina Herzog's lies
Christina, you have one hell of a nerve to write to mayhem acting the victim. Wasn't it YOU who was given immunity for accessory/obstruction of justice? YOU lied to cover up for him so please don't insult the intelligence of myself and the many people who have been following this case. You have no idea what it's like to be a victim. I'm sorry but a good mother is someone who choses her kids BEFORE her man. If you were a good mother, you would have thrown that drug addict out on his behind. Not letting your kids be exposed to that.
You should be in a cell as well. Sugar's not the right nickname for you. How about vinagar? Because it's nasty and everyone knows the ONE use it's good for.
'To thine own self be true'
'The only stresses are ones that you allow to exist.'
Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2004 06:58:33 EST
Subject: "Sugar and Starla"
I stumbled onto this site purely by chance... Im from Stockton as well. Although i am only vaguely familiar with this case i am however familiar with the friendship between sugar and starla.
you see, i went thru school with both of them. they were inseperable.each very loyal to the other and partners in all things. I remember them as being popular. and it seemed like they had everything. I was envious. Until i got to see and experience first hand what they were like.
it was surprising to see that they werent as close in adulthood or their version of it, as they were in school.
I was invited once to Sugars. when i saw how her life really was.. I wasnt envious any more. living just like me in a dump in the Ville. (eastside stockton).and here i was ashamed i didnt have the life she had! Her mom was passed out on the couch and she woke up to yell at sugar for making too much fucking noise.
after that, i didnt want to be cool.
Sugar was a follower.. and her childhood boyfriend made sure she did.
i remember thinking wow.. i wonder what she will be when we grow up.. seems to me she is still a follower. after 13 yrs of marriage, you may convince yourself, that you knew nothing of your husbands activities, but you are the only one. now, you have kids with this animal and if your lucky, they wont show similar aggression or issues that know you saw in your husband over the yrs. c'mon Sugar, is this really how you want to be remembered??
my god, at least do right by your children and keep them from remembering how their mother could defend their fathers actions. by staying around you taught them acceptance of things that are truly wrong... you dont fit the victim profile...so i cant help but think youwere aware of things but did nothing...hmm.. hope im wrong..but things come back 3 fold hun, and one more thing im glad i wasnt your friend.. E